Original Prompt Week 1, Entry 1

Jo Ann Beard's "The Fourth State of Matter" initially strikes its reader with well-manipulated tone and diction. It is flat, almost reportage, in some cases moving into a list-like movements. I note that throughout the beginning of the work Beard embraces, longer, detailed but not poesy sentences, "Or that the dog at the bottom of the stairs keeps having mild strokes which cause her to tilt her head inquisitively and also to fall over," which later moves on to a series of brief, broken sentences during the shooting, heightening the situation using punctuation--"A slumping. More smoke and ringing. Through the cloud an image comes forward--Bob Smith, hit in the chest, hit in the hand, still alive. Back up the stairs." What is most impressive about these shortened sentences is that they continue to maintain a vague, stand-offish report. There is no direct image of a body slumping in the chair, there is only "a slumping." There is little description, solely fact, and even though the sentences move the reader in a rushed anticipation, there is no presentation of lingering gore.

Even before introducing the gun shooting however, Beard employs other techniques. She integrates other subject matter. The story weaves in many levels--dealing with Beard's husband and dogs, her coworkers and friends, and ultimately the murders. Beard manipulates these many levels and often jumps back and forth between subjects as a distraction to readers. It almost reminds me of the comedic slips Shakespeare inserted into his plays to break the melancholy. Certainly this work has a lot of heavy, depressing material but because it moves so avidly throughout each idea the reader does not have time to dwell and sink into that depression.

In fact, even when dealing in the subject matter,--the dying dog for instance--Beard has a way of making even the repetition work in her favor, as if this kind of care for a collie is typical and in a way, therapeutic. "Each time this happens I stand her up, dry her off, put fresh blankets underneath her..." (2) The certainty of repetition counterbalances the uncertainty of some moments for her, for instance, "He does, I miss it, stoop to pick it up, and when I straighten up again I might be crying."


So the prompt is,

Write a brief piece regarding your first experience with your own mortality. In this piece, no sentence can be any longer than 10-words in its length, no more than 8 sentences per paragraph. Focus on the details that are important and let the imagery come with the specificity.